Who Gives You Permission?
Navigating to our own richly energising life requires courage
Whenever we want to expand and grow into something more, the delicate matter of permission comes up.
Whether it is breaking the rules of high brow art, “Don’t mix other mediums with watercolour,” or starting a heart-centred business, “What about retirement and stability?” or deciding to embark on our own personal quest for personal satisfaction and growth, we will often have to contend with outer critics as well as our own inner critical voice, too.
The thing is, if we don’t pay attention to this very crucial step of looking into who gives us permission, gently excavating our beliefs around safety and belonging, we can have all the ‘how to’s’ in the world, and not budge out of our comfort zone.
So ingrained is our need for safety, that it takes intentional reflection, questioning and building an ever richer, deeper commitment to ourselves and our own wellbeing if we are to escape its powerful forces.
This process can be helped along by surrounding ourselves with support.
In essence, navigating to the heart of our purpose involves listening to our hearts, establishing life-giving boundaries, giving ourselves permission, building a sense of safety for our inner life, removing or avoiding as many obstacles as we can, while adding in more of what lights us up. It’s not an easy journey. It can be lonely. Frightening. Unsteady.
We sometimes don’t know where we are going or how.
And this can trigger the people around us, which in turn can catch us by surprise and hinder our growth - or even cause us to alter our course to appease them.
What is useful with this process is understanding where we are on the map of growth, so we aren’t so easily knocked off course. It’s also helpful to have a support system that is there for us as we find our way.
Navigating to our own richly energising life requires courage, tools and creating the space to grow, to try new things, reflect, adjust and integrate.
But before any of those things can happen, we have to give ourselves permission.
In my life, I’ve found giving myself permission to do things differently has been helped along by having relationships with people who get it. People who simply understand.
It doesn’t even have to be a lot of people. Sometimes, it may just be one.
Running my own business is second nature to me now. But I treasure my fellow entrepreneurial friends who are also on this path. They understand what it means to not limit socialising to weekends or fixed holidays; they also rest in the middle of the day if they need to and can; they know what it’s like to not have a fixed ceiling on our income. They are part of this journey with me.
Likewise, fellow cruisers who've lived on their boats and sailed according to the weather and their own whims, are vastly different from sailors who race on Wednesday afternoons and weekends. One group understands our lifestyle, the other doesn't.
As you embark on your own personal quest to navigate to your most energising and fulfilling life, I invite you to ponder these questions about permission. Journal about them, mull them over while you’re washing the dishes or walking the dog, let them percolate in your awareness.
What would giving yourself permission feel like? Who (if anyone else) do you feel you need permission from to expand into this next season of your life? How likely is it they will come along with you and support your growth if you share your wants, needs and desires with them, even if they don’t understand all the 'how tos' just yet? How might your own growth benefit and impact others? What actions would you take if you gave yourself permission to follow your heart?
What would you choose if you fully trusted yourself?
Part of life is growth. When we stagnate is when we can begin to lose our inner flame, our inner sparkle and inspiration.
That’s why I’m so passionate about my new coaching program, Odyssey: Navigate to the Heart of Your Purpose and holding space for Creative Hearts who are looking to expand into this next season of their lives. Being in community with others who are on a similar voyage of transformation, growth and expansion can be invigorating, nurturing, and expedite our journey. We can find ourselves being brave and taking risks, because we have a sense of safety when we are amongst a cohort who ‘gets it’.
If you would like to surround yourself with support as you toss off the bow lines and, as Mark Twain says, “sail away from safe harbour, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore, dream, discover.” I warmly invite you to learn more about and apply to join Odyssey.
I’m so excited to spend 10 months sharing the tools I use and share with my clients to navigate fears, self-doubts, imposter syndrome, people-pleasing and other obstacles along the way.
Continually pointing the bow of my ship towards the dreams, desires and vision I have for my work, relationships, home, wellbeing, finances and creative expression is a practice I love to support my clients with in their own lives.
Being a cheerleader, guide and mentor for other people’s authentic, heart-led and inspiration-filled lives is a large part of my own purpose and, if you ask my friends and clients, they’ll confirm it’s something that comes naturally to me. If that sounds like the kind of support you would love to have in your corner, I warmly invite you to reach out. I’ll be happy to connect with you and answer any questions you may have.
At the end of the day, only we can give ourselves the permission we crave. But having a crew of supportive people around us can make all the difference.
Be kind to yourself and nurture your creativity.
With my warmest wishes,
Nicola xx
With my warmest wishes,
Nicola xx
About Nicola Newman
I'm a Creative Business Coach, Award-Winning Artist & Mentor for Creative Hearts who want to flourish, flow & prosper.
My passion is inspiring and supporting Creative Hearts to trust their inner wisdom and carve out a life that’s personally meaningful and fulfilling to them.
I share practical, evidence-based tools for Creative Hearts seeking to improve their lives or businesses. My work draws from acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), mindfulness-based techniques, body-based practices, and neuroscience -- and my own creative living adventures -- among other approaches.
My mission is to support Creative Hearts to:
Dissolve creative blocks, develop a loving relationship with themselves, nurture their creativity and reframe the beliefs and patterns that keep them from following their heart and making the creative contribution they would love to make in the world.
My approach is to embrace gentleness, playfulness and self-care to navigate self-doubt and instead cultivate deep self-trust so you can truly enjoy the creative process, bring together your body of work, make money doing what you love and leave a creative legacy you’re proud of.
Let’s pour a cuppa and get to know one another, shall we? :) Read more about my story here.
