Building Dreams & Failing Frailties

We are in the midst of building a studio. Or, at least, designing a studio to build. Funnily enough, I’ve noticed all the same blocks and opportunities that come with creating anything out of ‘thin air’ as I’ve come up against as an artist. Maybe you can relate…

Fear it won’t look good.

Fear it won’t be perfect.

Fear we will regret the design.

Fear we will waste our money.

Fear I could do it ‘wrong.’

They are powerful, underlying fears that whisper when I’m going to sleep or moving through my day. And while something so joyful as building a studio is here and totally possible, the mind works in cunning ways trying to protect us. From the unknown and from change.

“What if it doesn’t work?” it whispers. “You’ll have failed. You’ll look like a fool. Everyone will see your flaws.”

I heard the same whispers when making a garden, standing in front of a blank canvas, and even making my online courses.

Lately, Andrew and I have been playing with a new game. It works beautifully for reframing fears.

When we have made it out the other side of a discussion of some depth and vulnerability, we play ‘Let’s Catastrophise.’ One person goes first and says what their absolute worst fear is and often plays it up just that little bit too far. (I understand the timing of this game is important, too soon and it could be terrifying. But done with a lightness and playfulness, we’ve found it works beautifully). We end up standing on more solid ground that when we began. I invite you to play with me.

Let’s Catastrophise… shall we?

Let’s say we spend all our money on the studio and we end up destitute, the housing market falls and we lose everything and have to work at McDonalds to even survive. The design is hideous and ends up putting a scar on the property, no body thinks we’ve done a good job, we hate the space and decide we want to move in six months, the area inside doesn’t inspire us and instead we feel like crying in a corner with shame and guilt for wasting all that money.

Now, I feel better, funnily enough. Because as I’m going through all of those extremes, I can see how irrational they are and how incredibly unlikely. Not every body could think we didn’t do a good job. I’m sure my mum would applaud us still. And if the property market crashes, well, we’ll be losing money anyway. And the design simply won’t be hideous (I can dress up a shoebox that is my house and make it feel like a cottage with some colour and thoughtful features). If we want to move, there will be a reason why and we will have the resources we need to do so. And crying in a corner, well, it’s just not our style.

Now let’s open up the other side of our brain and play.

Let’s Romanticise… shall we?

The building looks amazing, it’s doubled the value of our property; it inspires us both everyday to follow our authentic creative impulses; it provides a space for me to teach others how to paint in a way that fits into my lifestyle and gives them enormous value and satisfaction; it becomes the headquarters and set for filming my new course; everyone is amazed at how wonderful the space feels and congratulates us on a job well done; my art career is nurtured because I’ve nurtured my passions; we wake up with a spring in our step so excited to see what we painted or made the night before; it becomes a sanctuary of inspiration, laughter, playfulness and inquiry. It becomes my dream, embodied.

I know the experience of the studio will fall more closely along the lines of the romantic vision. Despite my fears, that outcome is doable and likely and actually more realistic than the catastrophe.

The Keys to Creating

All we have to do is keep the design simple, focus on what we do want, and take inspired action. So, today, we’re off to chat with a builder to discuss our options.

What dream do you hold in your heart to express, create, design, build or make? Have you tried any of these techniques for moving through irrational fears and focusing on the positive outcomes you desire? What have you found works for you? Share your insights and experience in the comments below.

With Love,

Nicola xx