2013 Through the Lens of My Core Desired Feelings
Every year for the past three years my friends Susana Frioni, Jess Ainscough and I have riffed about our Core Desired Feelings (a concept we’ve gleaned from Danielle LaPorte) until we come up with 3 − 5 words that sum up how we want to feel, but most importantly that pull us towards expanding, rather than contracting, for the year ahead. I invite you to come for a romp through the past 12 months with me, where there were unexpected opportunities, saddening losses, and heart-opening love. All wrapped up in five simple words.
How I wanted to feel in 2013…
Every year for the past three years my friends Susana Frioni, Jess Ainscough and I have riffed about our Core Desired Feelings (a concept we’ve gleaned from Danielle LaPorte) until we come up with 3 − 5 words that sum up how we want to feel, but most importantly that pull us towards expanding, rather than contracting, for the year ahead. I invite you to come for a romp through the past 12 months with me, where there were unexpected opportunities, saddening losses, and heart-opening love. All wrapped up in five simple words.
How I wanted to feel in 2013…
#1. Gentle
Trip to Bali When I felt I was close to burn-out in April, I realised I needed to be gentle with myself and ‘fill my own well’. So I booked a spontaneous trip to Bali for a solo writing retreat. It turned out to be a time of deep soul reflection, letting go, and rest while I journeyed through Hiro Boga’s beautiful online course “Rule Your World from the Inside Out.” I hired a driver to take me to interesting places away from the bustling tourist spots and found myself smiling with delight as nature reminded me of her exquisite beauty at the Butterfly House.
Bought a Van In order to continue feeling gentle when I got home from Bali, I followed a small vision I had of my dog Jordie sitting in the passenger seat of a van. Driving along the highway near my house, I found the van we needed, transformed it into a safe, colourful gypsie-style home, piled my dear old faithful companion into the passenger seat, and took off with no agendas other than to reach Melbourne in time for the Better Homes & Garden’s expo, and to spend time with my precious dog.
It turned into a nine-week journey down to Hobart and up again, with plenty more time spent journeying into my soul and the soul of my business, this time facilitated by Hiro Boga’s beautiful online course “Become Your Own Business Advisor.” It was the perfect way to celebrate my dog’s life and experience the Beauty of Gentle Transitions (and turned out to be my most popular post ever).
#2. Significant
Expos, Events, Speaking & Workshops A number of business-related projects came along last year that felt significant. I felt very proud when I was invited to have a stall at the Better Homes & Garden’s expo. I was also honoured when the editor of ABC Organic Gardener magazine asked me to write and illustrate an article on Permaculture (it’s in the current edition if you want to grab a copy).
Third was speaking and presenting for Earth Events’ super-fun-filled ‘Raw Beauty’ workshops, and subsequently having standing room only for my workshops on How Herbs Can Support Your Health for the Women’s Lifestyle Expo. Being featured in Salt and Profile magazines and two radio shows was also an honour.
> Gardening with Jess Ainscough Creating a garden with my dear friend Jess Ainscough and filming her Edible Garden series felt significant, not only because it was helping her to transform her brown thumb into a green thumb, but also because it reached tens of thousands of people around the world too. Sadly it was during this time that her beautiful mum was passing away, and the courage and love Jess embodied on a daily basis was astounding
Painting with Jess Jess had long been begging me to teach her to paint, so our painting dates fell into place during her grief sabbatical and became part of what she now calls her soul medicine. I loved having her come over to share my studio and teach her simple processes to push paint around while navigating her waves of grief. I felt incredibly blessed to offer something to my friend and thankful to be able to share the healing effect painting has had through the ups and downs in my life too.
>> Upgrading My Van A significant step for me personally was upgrading the van, from an old Toyota that’d travelled more than 650,000 klm (she literally blew up on the way home one day) to a new reliable, comfortable, safe and air-conditioned model. I call it our chariot (after the infamously funny ‘Hercules Returns’ for any Australian movie nerds out there). Having the new van has opened up my world more and more, and fits in beautifully in helping me feel this next CDF…
#3. Supported
I’ve never been one to think much about feeling supported until I came across Hiro Boga’s work. I thought life was pretty much about making do with things the best you can, not relying on others, and certainly not expecting too much support in the process. But Hiro helped me to shape a new vision of what it means to feel supported, and one of those ways for me was to have a reliable vehicle that didn’t need me to call the RACQ every two weeks. Feeling supported also fed into the best and most significant event from 2013… falling in love with my Beloved and getting married.
Getting Married!!! When I was dating, I came across an opportunity to choose. Between old and new ways. And it was easy, because when I wrote down all my core desired feelings, Andrew ticked all my boxes. Every. Single. One. When I’m with him I feel gentle, significant, supported, inspired and peaceful. It was a totally new experience for me to feel all those things in a relationship and that awareness helped us steer our experience to the deeper, trusting, expansive space of marriage with such confidence and knowing. Deepest. Gratitude. For this Love.
> Finding Mentors Another part of 2013 was finding people to guide me along my journey by sharing tools and insights they’ve learnt before me. Mentoring has always been a huge part of my life. And last year I mentored with two wonderful people who’ve helped on my personal and professional journeys: Hiro Boga (who I’ve mentioned above) and James Roche for marketing and business advise. I came across James through working with Ali Brown a few years ago. I love working with him; he’s a genuine, creative, heart-based entrepreneur and is helping me expand into the next evolution of my business for the new year. He also has a wonderfully contagious laugh that makes our 5am weekly Skype calls easier to get up for (he’s based in the USA and Europe).
#4. Inspired
> Creative Business Projects Along with feeling significant, most of the business projects I embarked on last year also helped me feel inspired. I loved decorating the stall for Better Homes & Gardens, and I loved drawing the illustration for ABC Organic Gardener magazine.
> Exhibition of New Paintings Having an exhibition at Artpeice Gallery after a year off (incredibly, I’ve been exhibiting for over a decade now, I can’t believe I’m that old) was another high-light. Being in my make-shift studio (with drop-sheets nailed under the cornice of my ceiling to protect the painted walls and lino covering my new flooring), dancing to iTunes and drinking wine with paint flowing off my brush and delighting me in unexpected ways is always a perfect way to spend an evening in my books. Plus, Andrew loves to paint with me too. Perfecto.
>> Travelling & Having Adventures Travelling has long been the major way through which I feel inspired, so going to Bali, Tasmania, Thailand and outback Australia all fed my creative soul too. Even taking a simple afternoon drive led me to discover Probably the Most Incredible Story I’d Ever Heard.
#5. Peaceful
I added peaceful to my core desired feelings part way through last year. As someone who has a tendency to move fast when I know what I want, whether it be new experiences, adventures, travels, courses or even significant relationships, I realised I wanted to temper that with time for integration, and an eye towards feeling peaceful. I show up for my clients, family and friends better when I don’t feel anxious or like the world is shifting under my feet and I don’t know where to go next. So, a few things I’m doing to feel peaceful include maintaining some sort of routine, even amongst my unconventional gypsie lifestyle (I’m currently writing this to you from a tiny town in the outback of Queensland) by simplifying and focusing on just two reliable self-care routines.
>> 2 Self Care Routines They include a daily walk (Lacey Jane loves this part, and she is an excellent reminder to get me outside to look at the changing trees, birds and neighbourhoods) and the other is writing and reflection. The quality of my writing isn’t the focus, just the regularity, and allowing myself the space to let my inner voices, selves and insights out onto the page. It creates space for calmness when all the different parts of me aren’t being suppressed or pushed under, but instead are being heard.
Reality in Action
Of course I didn’t go through 2013 feeling gentle, significant, supported, inspired and peaceful all the time. There were also times I felt incredibly anxious, surging grief, and down-right shitty. What I’ve been learning though, is the more I acknowledge those feelings by bringing my awareness around them and meeting them as guests in my inner-sanctuary, allowing them space to be and asking what they may need, ministering to them as best I can so they can become part of my wholeness, then, there is space to redirect my attention towards my core desired feelings and as a result, my life keeps becoming richer and more fullfilling.
Soul-Satisfying Resources to Craft Your 2014
Here are four resources I’ve tasted, tested and truly love to help shape your 2014 into a year with soul, joy and wholeheartedness:
Hiro Boga Hiro is like the grandmother of creative entrepreneurs and spiritual journeyers. I never knew much about chakras and the term ‘energy-alchemy’ made no sense to me. But I saw she mentored other women I admired (see below) and so I drove right in. Any time I’m feeling alone, bedraggled, threatened or unsafe, I sink into one of Hiro’s courses and feel my soul soothed by her wisdom, connected to the Sacred through nature, and restored back to right relationship with my world.
Danielle LaPorte Her newsletters are like a shaft of sunlight in a smoke haze and her Desire Map is a life-changer.
Leonie Dawson Leonie is a bubbling brook of bubbles. Her Create Your Amazing Year workbooks (both the Biz & Life editions) are great fun and have been the basis of my business planning tools for three years now.
Susana Frioni Susana is my fellow adventurer on this path through entrepreneurship and service. Susana is offering a powerful program for women who want to Lead with Soul in 2014. I adore the way Susana has helped me over the years to get clear on what’s really important to me and my soul’s growth. Love. Her. Work. Applications close this Friday.
Where ever you are and whatever your dream is for 2014, I wish you all the resources you need for a wonderful year ahead.
You are truly worth it.
With love,
Nicola xx