Day 2
My Favourite Tool To Navigate Creative Blocks & The Inner Critic
Hello Creative Heart!
Welcome to Day Two of The Art of Creative Living: 7 Day Introductory Course.
Yesterday, I gave you a little introduction to the three phases of my approach: Creative Renewal, Creative Practices and Creative Maps.
Today, I want to share with you a wonderful tool to support you in your creative life. It is useful in all three phases, but particularly during Creative Renewal, and can lead to huge shifts (not only in your creative life, but so many other areas, too!)
But first, I want to ask you, what holds you back from creating? Because being creative is something we often long for and yet find ourselves drawn away by other ‘more important’ things in life. What is going on here?
Why don’t we spend more time being creative?
Let me share what I’ve found in my years as a professional artist, creative living teacher and mentor with the hope it sheds light on this strange phenomenon.
So often, when we want to create, we go out and buy new art supplies and get excited to paint. But when we get home, we freak out and put our new paints and blank canvas in a cupboard where they won’t be ‘wasted’ or ‘ruined’. Instead of letting ourselves play, we freeze.
What’s happening here, is when we are renewing our relationship with our creativity, we come face to face with our Creative Shame.
After years of doing this work, I’ve found Creative Shame is something we all face, in one form or another. I’ve worked with professional artists, creative entrepreneurs, aspiring creatives and every stage in between and I’ve noticed everyone has experienced some form of Creative Shame.
Creative shame shows up in beliefs and stories we tell ourselves, such as:
“I’m just not creative.”
“I can’t express what I want to express. I always make a mess.”
“My work looks like a two-year-old created it!”
“It takes too long to be creative, I’m busy as it already is.”
“It feels selfish and indulgent to invest money and time on my creativity.”
“I’m too old, or I don’t know where to begin.”
“I used to be so good at being creative, what happened?!”
“What if my (partner/friend/parent/teacher) doesn’t like my painting? I’ll be so embarrassed.”
“Last time I tried to paint it was terrible. I don’t want to experience that disappointment again.”
“I should be so much further ahead in my creative life by now!”
Creative Shame sends our nervous system into a fight, flight or freeze response.
When we can’t do something we think we ought to be good at (while it isn’t life-threatening) it does threaten the way we see ourselves as competent adults. It can feel waaaay outside our comfort zone.
Our brain doesn’t like unknown territory and it wants to protect us from possible harm, so it sends alarm signals to our nervous system shouting, “Warning! Get out of here!” and that’s when we find other ‘safer’ ways to spend our time.
Let me ask you:
Have you ever pulled out your art supplies and before you know it, you are thinking, “Gosh, the floors are filthy. I need to vacuum.” Or, “I’m starving, it’s time for lunch,” and next thing you find yourself in the kitchen making a sandwich or on your phone checking social media. You probably don’t even remember leaving the room and are wondering, “How did I get here?” Moments ago, you wanted to express your creativity, but now you’re avoiding the very thing you wanted to do. You’re organising your closet, doing busy-work, or tinkering around the house. In that moment, you’re experiencing the flight response.
Or have you ever sat and stared at a blank page – unable to begin painting – frozen by the heavy weight of perfectionism? Or felt paralysed replaying thoughts over and over about being creatively blocked? Or remembering hurtful comments someone said about your creative expression in the past? Maybe you believe you’re never going to be creative and you decide you’re not even going to try. You simply give up. In that moment, you’re experiencing the freeze response.
Or have you ever wanted to be creative, only to pick a fight with your honey? A fight works really, really well as a distraction when you feel uncomfortable amidst the unknowns inherent in the creative process.
Maybe you prefer to pick a fight with yourself. Your inner critic starts waving her arms around, pointing out all your creation’s flaws. Then, when you are trying to rest, she’s hissing at you that you’re lazy, you should be dedicating more time to your creative expression. You’re not even relaxing. Instead, your inner critic is beating you up for not doing what you really want to be doing. In that moment, you’re experiencing the fight response.
When our nervous system is on high alert, we want to squash our desire to be creative down into a box, in an effort to make ourselves feel more comfortable.
Unfortunately, avoidance doesn’t solve our creative dilemma. When creativity isn’t expressed, as Brene Brown highlights, it usually morphs into anger, depression, restlessness, aimlessness, jealousy or apathy.
We are wired to create and express ourselves, it’s part of a healthy, fulfilling life where our well-being flourishes.
Which is why we need a simple tool to take care of our nervous system and help us return home to ourselves in those moments of discomfort, especially amidst the early stages of the creative process.
We need to give ourselves a sense of safety.
A huge aspect of my work is encouraging and supporting creative hearts to gently, compassionately and mindfully navigate the effects of creative shame. It’s about renewing our relationship with our creativity and infusing more playfulness, curiosity and sense of safety into our creative lives.
My Favourite Tool for Navigating Creative Shame & Creative Blocks = The Inquisitive Pause
Self compassion can move mountains in our creative life. Remembering we aren’t wrong, or lazy, or untalented and gently reminding ourselves we are experiencing feelings people all around the world are also experiencing can help us soften and lean into the discomfort.
However, when we are in a creative shame spiral and our nervous system is freaking out about trying something new, it can be difficult to know how to extend a loving hand to our self. That’s where The Inquisitive Pause helps us anchor in with gentle awareness about what is going on for us, in this moment, so we can stay in relationship with ourselves and not lose sight of our desire to be creative.
Here’s how to do it:
Pause. Take a moment to tune inward and check in with yourself. Take some deep breaths.
Be Inquisitive. Without judgment or trying to ‘fix’ anything, get curious and notice what’s going on for you right now. Is your mind telling you a story? What have you been thinking about?
Feel Your Body. Tune into your body and notice the emotions you are experiencing. How would you describe them? What physical sensations are you experiencing? Are you tightening your muscles? Is there a sense of movement in your belly? What is your breathing like? Is it shallow, forced or stilted?
Ask yourself: Is there something I can do to feel a little more comfortable here? To give myself a sense of safety or support in this moment? Perhaps you’d like to close the door to enjoy more privacy, gently unclench your jaw, stretch your neck, or turn on some soft music you love.
Breathe. Give yourself loads of self-compassion and gentleness.
That’s it!
The Inquisitive Pause is incredibly simple and at the same time, incredibly powerful.
I’ve recorded a short audio guiding you through The Inquisitive Pause. You can listen to the recording below.
This process is useful any time you feel stressed, anxious or triggered during the creative process (and anytime you may be feeling “off” in daily life, for that matter!). Try it now, if you like. Use it next time you sit down to a blank canvas. After you’ve made your first brush strokes. When you’re writing your next draft.
The Inquisitive Pause is powerful because it very cleverly weaves together a number of supportive practices, into one simple process.
By checking in with yourself this way, you are using self-compassion, mindfulness and a process known as defusion. Noticing what your mind is telling you, you are putting some distance between yourself and those thoughts, which helps to calm your nervous system.
You are also doing something called ‘resourcing,’ by seeing if there’s anything you can do to make yourself more comfortable in this moment. It’s my favourite tool for working with Creative Shame and stepping into your creative life with more presence, calm and freedom.
I’ve used it for years and find it so supportive and powerful. The Inquisitive Pause can move mountains in your creative life, I promise.
Being Kind to Yourself is Key to Flourishing in Your Creative Life
We can be so quick to shame ourselves about our efforts, talent, skills, inconsistency or a multitude of other areas when it comes to expressing our creativity. But telling ourselves that we are failing, we are so far behind, we’re not doing it right or that our skills aren’t good enough – is not helping us, it’s hurting us.
And tough love isn’t effective when dealing with Creative Shame.
You can’t use willpower or whipping yourself into shape to dissolve creative blocks. Which is why I’m a huge fan of gentleness, curiosity, playfulness, and taking small steps.
The gentle way is more enjoyable and effective.
Today’s Small Steps:
Try the Inquisitive Pause! Do it now… or try it before/during/after your next challenging moment with the creative process.
Consider how Creative Shame has shown up for you recently.
Watch your inbox tomorrow for our video on gathering your art supplies… we are going to have a painting date, together! I can’t wait, it’s going to be loads of fun.
With my warmest wishes,
Nicola xx
PS. For more on creative shame, I invite you to check out my podcast episode or blog post on the topic.
PPS. I’ve recorded a short audio guiding you through The Inquisitive Pause. Press play to listen via the player below and give yourself the gift of slowing down and tuning inwards.