On following your heart, even when it scares you...

Last night, on our way back from Victoria to Coffs Harbour, we pulled up in the small town of Gundagai in a lovely (dog-friendly!) campsite by the river. As we settled into bed, Andrew asked me to write a list of boat jobs he’s had rolling around in his head.

I wrote down items such as, “Add a latch to anchor locker” and “Secure fridge and freezer doors.”

Those jobs, in particular, are in case we capsize.

Not that we have any intention of capsizing, but if it were to happen, we wouldn’t want food falling around the cabin and knocking us on the head, or anchor chain coming lose and dragging along the deck or getting tangled beneath the hull (and in the rudder or propeller).

Two years ago, I remember sleeping in Gundagai on our way south. At the time, we hadn’t even considered buying a boat. Let along living on one.

Even considering the possibility of capsizing back then would have totally freaked me out. Yet now, it feels very matter of fact. Something I can deal with and prepare for with a clear head. Those jobs feel like practical measures to make our boat as safe as possible, not something I am convinced will happen, but wise precautionary steps to implement.

On Being Brave

So often, when we want to Be Brave, Follow Our Heart & Create More in our life, we get caught on the first steps. We allow our mind to run away with us and catastrophise about the worst possible things that could happen if we step out of our known territory and try something new.

If we want to leave our job and start a heart-centred business, our mind might say “But what if it doesn’t work out and you become destitute? What if you throw away your career and all you’ve worked so hard to establish?”

If we want to paint a painting, our mind might say, “But you have no skills, you don’t know how to paint. It will be terrible. Better to save yourself the disappointment and embarrassment.”

If we want to sail away to warm tropical islands, our mind might say “But what if you capsize and drown? What if you are eaten by sharks? Better to stay safe on land.”

Catastrophise.

That’s what our mind does so well.

Particularly in the beginning of any new heart-based enterprise. And we can’t blame it, our mind has had eons of practice trying to keep us safe from possible harm.

On Curiosity & Gentleness

But what if we look at our heart’s desires from another angle. Instead of allowing our initial thoughts to stop us in our tracks, we pick up the rock and peer underneath it.

What if, when you want to start a new heart-centred business, you allowed yourself to take small steps and began working on your dream just one day a week or in the evenings. After a short time, you receive feedback and gather more information based on real-world experience. You talk to customers and clients and hear what they are looking for. You begin to see your skills develop and your work make a difference in people’s lives and your confidence naturally grows.

You discover you don’t have to know exactly how your business will look six months or two years from now. As much as your mind wants all the pieces of the puzzle immediately and reassurance you will be profitable and successful, you realise you can tweak your offerings, positioning, marketing and services as you go, taking appropriate steps to allow your business to flourish.

You may discover, instead of leaving your job completely, you can work part-time and develop your business on the side, until it feels ready to support you and it isn’t so scary to quit and ‘take the leap’. Because you are no longer leaping into a void, but a structure you have created to support the next evolution of your life.

What if, when you want to paint a painting, instead of expecting yourself to paint like a master right off the bat, you allowed yourself to experience the pleasure of letting paint drop, merge and spill on the canvas, blending into new shades, colours and forms?

What if you broke the process down into small steps and focused on understanding how red behaves. You paint a series of red paintings and explore how it changes when you add a touch of blue and or a dab of yellow.

You gradually begin to understand red in an intimate way and your repertoire of skills grows simultaneously, as you develop your brush control, colour mixing and how to keep yourself from getting covered in paint. After giving yourself permission to play, you find you can paint pictures you are proud of.

What if, when you want to sail away, you allowed yourself to take it day by day, not pressuring yourself to have everything figured out from day dot? You allow yourself to build your confidence and skills slowly. You read books on sailing, listen to others with good seamanship and practice your skills in safe harbours before venturing further and further afield.

Before you know it, the idea of sailing overnight and for long passages doesn’t seem so preposterous and doesn’t scare the bejeezus out of you. You have taken small steps, been kind to yourself and gently expanded your comfort zone until it now includes a new way of experiencing the world.

Coaching Heart-Centred Entrepreneurs

This week I’ve had the pleasure of working with new business coaching clients and it has lit me up from the inside. Listening to what they want to create in their lives, how they desire to be of service to others and seeing how they are willing to bravely step outside what they currently know to create something new is an honour and delight.

We don’t have to have all the stepping stones in sight before we walk.

This is what ‘trusting the process’ is all about.

Much like the metaphor of driving down a dark road and thinking we can’t find our way, when we turn on our headlights and respond to what is showing up in front of us, we can travel thousands of kilometres from where we are, to where we want to go. And we can do it safely. With wisdom and discernment along the way.

If you feel scared about following your heart to create something you long to experience, create or do, the best way I have found to be brave, is by being kind to yourself.

By turning your big vision into small steps, taking the pressure off yourself from having to be perfect, recognising you don’t have to know all the answers right now (hint: you can’t) and trusting you will have the information you need to make the appropriate decision and take wise actions as you go.

The next step often reveals itself after we take the step directly in front of us.

If things don’t go to plan, be kind to yourself and cultivate a sense of curiosity and inquisitiveness. Do all you can to make the process feel as safe as possible along the way.

Because when you do, it makes it so much easier to be brave.

Give Yourself a Sense of Safety

Ask yourself, how can you create a safety net beneath you, so you don’t feel stuck with fear when you want to leap.

Being kind to yourself, accepting who you are, what you need, want and desire and being gentle with your fears can carry you from where you are now, into the next chapter of your life with joy, fun and freedom.

I have just two spaces left in my business coaching. If you would like my support, guidance and encouragement to be brave, follow your heart, and create more, you are invited to apply for a complimentary 90 minute call with me.

I’d love to support you and would be honoured to walk beside you as you navigate through this next chapter of your business or life.

We will be back on the boat when I write to you next, but for today, we’re off to explore the national museums and galleries in Canberra (one of my favourite things to do!).

In fact, I’m writing this to you from the National Library, surrounded by rows of people quietly typing on computers and only a handful of books in sight. It’s such a funny place. Last time I was here, I went up to the front desk and asked: “Where are all the books?” The attendant stifled a laugh and explained they are kept downstairs and have to be retrieved if you want to read a particular title. A strange type of library, if you ask me 😉

Be kind to yourself and have a wonderful week! And don’t forget, if you’d like to book a complimentary call with me, I’d love to have a cup of tea with you and give you a first-hand experience of what it is like to coach with me.

Be kind to yourself.

With love,

Nicola x